Setting sun

Wet concrete steps reflected red neon lights.
Walking behind her past cold marble pillars
To the warm orange light of the foyer.

We walked up the stairs and the pleats of your skirt
Splayed like fingers spreading to cover you,
As you swayed in that inimitable way.

Then the crowd flowed in with babbling mouths
And I lost you in an ocean of grey suits and sequins.

These days long now watching setting sun
And remembering the sway of those splayed fingers.


, , , ,

  1. #1 by redplace on October 24, 2013 - 3:57 am

    I just love this so much! I am overwhelmed by your words and how well you write.

  2. #3 by David Kitching on October 26, 2013 - 11:27 pm

    Rhymes need only occur within the flow of what’s being read, not necessarily at the end of lines. And be succinct, avoid too many adjectives, and cut out pronouns: “A warm wind was blowing through the fluidly bending arms of the sighing willows” is not as strong as “Warm wind sighed through bending willow arms.” (not necessarily the best example! But you get my drift…)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: