Archive for category Even further back

Darkness now creeps

 
 
Darkness now creeps
At the end of the day
Towards my house.
A shadow of shadows
Moving slowly to change
Everything.

Trees become gaunt
And rooms full of dark places.
The quiet is sinister.
Not the quiet of the town
But the quiet of the fields.
Damp and still.

And I sit here and think
And watch my life lapped
By darkness like an ocean
On an unknown shore.

What use is there in brightness
If it isn’t seen?
To be a place unknown
Is to be alone and vice a versa.

Some busker plays loud
In the city and with soul
But still isn’t heard truly.

Islands are islands
Surrounded by wet cold water
Wherever they are.

If we were boats we could drift free
Over the water and laugh
At the irony of it all.

But it’s our nature to take the bruising.
It’ll pass and we’ll stand proud one day
In silver smooth life having stood our ground
And cried unyielding to prove our worth.
 
 

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New people

 
 
Bright eyes dulled reveal inner tears
As fledgling wings find the folly of existence.
To flutter in vain against forces unknown
And to break and be wounded
In pursuit of grace.

But bright eyes can also see pure.
And through staying true to their real sense
Can fly high over what we see round us.
By being so pure they can see the real way
Of a world become clouded

To us who have lost how to see.
Subjecting ourselves to our own made poison
That obscures our own natural truth.
World weary we’ve let understanding
Defile the original view.
 
 

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I think I may be

 
 
I think I may be
Some smoothly blended entity
Merged with some other
Seamless contiguity as one.
I don’t believe in the space
Between me and all others.

There are too many strands
Of coincidence and coordination
For any of us to be discreet.

Whoever heard of a bit of a dance,
Or a fragment of swirling fog,
Or a drop of water underwater in an ocean.
 
 

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I saw you once perhaps

 
 
Ephemeral maybe but there
On the other side of the street
Across the shining tarmac
Past butterfly windows

I saw you walking in the crowd.
But then like a cloud you
Changed and vanished.
Perhaps were never there.

So I turned my head and stayed walking
Against the crowd.
And faced the stoney faced people
Moving anonymous like fish.

Moment passed.
And those unblinking lights
Shined on wet pavements
And the roiling clouds

Rolled fat belly down across shining roofs.
And people walked past unseeing.
I watched detached.
It’s something to be alone.

Good and bad on the outside.
Ostentatious windows like
Vain butterflies showed themselves
But their motives were suspect.

Making me lust for its own sake
After illusions and tricksy tools
Designed to fool me into making
Something of me that I’m not.

I would have liked you to notice
That I stood apart from the crowd.
Am the real thing.
Perhaps I didn’t and am not.

Perhaps you saw me as I see them.
I would prefer then to float away.
To rise and drift between roiling thunder
And mindless masses.

Seeing both and you
And being part of the wind.
 
 

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Rain will fall

 
 
Rain will fall
Like tears from stars.
As we’re born,
So we’ll die
But wiser perhaps.
Something to take home.
 
 

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White Georgian houses

 
 
White Georgian houses in rows
Like blocks of ice cream
Against a blue grey sky.

Orange windows showing people
Warm and busy as the world
Goes on outside.

Playing a part of some sort
And richly rewarded
I suppose.

Dark arching trees and cold wind
Blowing hard with dead leaves
Scurrying across my path.

I walk outside of their world
And am privileged to watch
From a distance.

I don’t know why I’m out here
Or why they’re in there.

I know I have time to think.
I can be a master of perspective.

An observer who can watch uninvolved.
Does that give me power or insight?

Or by being outside am I just a leaf
Being blown past the machine?

A whim on the wind.

We’ve so much to give.
But give to what?

Think I’ll blow it all as a bystander.
A watcher of the flames.
 
 

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Blue view

 
 
The views much better up here in the blue fog.
Down there in the brown murk, slow fires burn blurred
Between dark spaces. But up here in the clear blue
I can see myself reflected in the firmament.

A matrix of meaning. Points of light.
So what do I do with this perception? I gaze at it
And taste it tentatively, sniffing like a cautious hyena.
Not noticing how my model and I slide slowly back into brown dark.

And as the stars grow dim and chaos’ roar sounds,
Does my soul go up or down? My heart slides
And freezes as a sense of cold reality
Strokes my shivering skin. These fires aren’t hot.

They burn cold and constraining.
And the dark places are full of demons.
There’s nowhere left but back up.
Now where did I put that lighter
 
 

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Now

 
 
Reflection is a dangerous thing.
It sits like a sack full of scatter bombs
Around our shoulders.

Now is the only truth.
Born of the past
And frightened of the future
If we consider too much.

But the frozen moment that we live
Holds all that we need to know.
Sadness is gone now
And hope is yet to be born.

Live now and see that life is form
And our soul can sit
In judgement and make
This life to be our own.

As we will one day be judged
By ourselves or someone
Outside of the rush that distracts
And makes us weep.

Permanent sleep is
Outside of the dream.

It sees what we know
If only we knew.

But it really is there
For us to see and to know.

Just deal with the moment
And its richness will sow

The seeds of wisdom
And calm being.
 
 

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Comeback

 
 
The incessant clatter
Of the need to seed
Lives with every moment
And I see the world around me
Fat and frantic with process.

If some tarty doll in split skirt
With promise of juice and smooth skin
Can raise desire and feelings
That strikes the pose of the lonely,

What is it when I wake before dawn
And want my arms to wrap
Like the branches of a tree
Around some sweet safe thing to keep it mine?

How do we play with ourselves?
Confusing sex with love and loneliness.
Where is the space and what is it
Between the two?

We’re driven by nature
To procreate and that cruel woman
Does state the rules
Shall be ambiguous.

Well there’s a surprise!
So where do we stand
Us poor men whose finer reason
Is pawned by pictures?

How do we chose
Between the she devil that flicks
All the switches
And the other leg?

We’re pawns in a game
Where the rules are all written
By those who would then
Make us weak

Whilst demanding we rise
When it suits them such
That they languid lie
And whine their way

To dominance.
But oh so nicely.
They’ll do precisely
What’s required

To make sure we stay
The way they want
By spreading those thighs
And sighing.


 
 

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A passing Jehosophat

 
 
A passing Jehosophat said one day,
In lieu of a passing month of May,
That slid in a most delicious way,
‘I’m not quite sure what I’m meant to say.’
And the echo of his words rang true on
The canyon walls and in valleys blue.

But then some Bumble birds sang forth
Of bees and skirts and caramel tart.
And the rain came raining sweet and pure
On the crawling, slithering, well meant Sture.
In their own way transparently pure,
But only in the singulure.

The passing Jehosophat who saw all this
Then saw his lunch and also laughed.
He laughed out loud and booming strong
Because he knew his life was past
And looking back, not up or down,
He came to know the stiff’s a clown.
 
 

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Slithering sliding smooth

 
 
Slithering sliding smooth
Went the snake in search
Of the knowledge cake.

Sliding smooth
Over rough tree bark,
Onwards and upwards

Towards Eves fine heaven,
Draped through
The stretching fingers

Of sky leaning twigs.
Between that space
Between earth and sky

A sun for an apple
And a poke in the eye.
I saw the true nature

Of the source
Of the lie.


 
 

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Show me the mortal bit

 
 
Show me the mortal bit
And let’s get it over.
This fussing with foreplay
Is flagging my mainstay.
I’d love to really.
But I’d rather get down,
To the bits that matter,
That make those stars
Seem so much brighter.
And so there with twinkling eye
I did the deed and made it good.

But then I thought.

What a selfish sod.

It’s not far to the edge
from love’s sweet place
to lust’s digress.

And the view is poor from
Outside the bedroom.
 
 

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I thought mine

 
 
I thought mine and only mine
And saw the stars then knew
Me for what I am.

Some snivelling piece
Of dog shit
Floating through God.

And then I saw
That mine was yours
And yours was mine

And we moved together
In seamless trajectory
Towards similar destinies

And I laughed so loud!
I laughed and I died
In majestic loyalty.
 
 

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I drink too hard

 
 
I drink too hard
In torn deference to times lost
And fallen by the wayside.

Sinking spirit. Cheap as well.
Slinking down some road to hell
They say.

But now I’m in my own world
In some contentious way.
Sweating through my traumas
And beating them

With righteous venom.
I see now the truth
Of my fire.
But also see,

Through some quiet part of me
That sees and doesn’t speak,
That some truth is vain
And some is true.

The next days dawn
Will play with me and,
Still lacking clarity I’ll
Wonder how I knew so well

My true self glimpsed,
That knew my hell
For what it is
Now once more buried

Under mad reason
And stubborn fact
And life goes on
Invincible.
 
 

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